Room at the Manger

*It's hard to be in a place of sadness during Advent and Christmas. The culture proclaims cheerfulness and happiness. Others expect us to participate in the joy of the season and feel uncomfortable with brokenheartedness and grieving.

But our sadness and mourning, especially in the midst of Advent and Christmas, positions us right where we are supposed to be — in the present moment, feeling whatever feelings reside in us right now. Even in the instance of long-ago loss, we naturally bring to mind the sadness of remembering, the mourning of lost loved ones, lost hopes or dreams at this time of year.

There is room for all at the manger. The good news of Christ’s birth comes to the oppressed, bent over by grief; the brokenhearted, full of tears; those imprisoned by depression and despair. Christ comes to comfort all who mourn, trusting that in God’s time joy will replace sadness.

God of the brokenhearted, it is hard to be in mourning during this joyous time of year. But I know that you come to all of us, especially those filled with tears as captives to grief. Wrap them in your comforting spirit. Amen.  
 
Carry these words in your heart today:

God comforts all who mourn.

-Beth A. Richardson

The Uncluttered Heart
*Sent to me by my friend, Sheri Barber.

Merry Go Round

So I've been feeling okay lately.  It turns out that all of the puking and fever might have been caused by the decrease in prednisone.  It was only by 1mg (from 5 to 4) but I hear that even that can make a big difference.  Some people have really bad withdrawl/flu-like symptoms.

I can't be sure this was the reason for my 2 weeks of misery but the day I started taking 5 mg of prednisone again, everything was fine.

Now my rheumatologist wants me to start taking 150mg of imuran instead of 100mg so we can try again with lowering the prednisone.  (Hopefully with better results.)

This sounds fine except that sometimes imuran is really hard to take.  It makes me feel weird and sick to my stomach.  I feel like I've just gotten accustomed to the dose I'm on and the thought of increasing it makes my heart feel overwhelmed. 

But since I'm a super-hero of a person, I've been doing it for the past 4 days and it hasn't been easy.

So, that's the story.

• Meds
• Doses
• Pain
• Relief
• Repeat

 Not always in that order. 

I'm so glad I have my family to keep me going.  They're on this lupus-merry-go-round with me, cheering me on as I try to keep my balance and sometimes holding me just in case I'm not strong enough to stand on my own.

Please keep praying for us and I'll keep praying for you too.